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Choochtown (20th Anniversary Edition)

by Hamell On Trial

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released July 19, 2019

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Track Name: When Bobby Comes Down
When Bobby Comes Down
I don’t want to be round, when bobby comes down, you know
how that can be, yeah you know better than me.
I don’t want to be here, when bobby gets clear & he gives you
that weird eye, I think I’d better say goodbye.
Yeah the party always starts out pretty cool,
then Bobby’s got to find himself a fool.
Fun to hang here when he’s high, couldn’t find a nicer guy,
he would give you his own shirt, he starts to crash & you get hurt.
So it was me, Bobby, little Chooch & Tim, Chooch is alright you
can always count on him. Bobby can be cool, if he’s hanging out
here, if he gets too high & goes out, that’s when things get weird.
So we’re going to the Toddle House to get something to eat, the
food’s pretty good @ 3:00 a.m., but this time it was beat &
we’re sittin at the boothe & to tell you the truth, Bobby’s throwin
shit around, he’s acting real uncouth.
And I figure it’s only moments till the manager calls the cops
when Bobby gets all quiet and down in his eggs he drops,
he passes out at the table wakes up and heaves, and there’s
vomit all over the counter and he pays the check and leaves.
And he’s almost to the corner when out comes the waiter, Bobby
says, “Get the fuck off me, man, I wasn’t sick until I ate here.”
Bobby smacks the waiter, blood all down his nose, Chooch says,
“Hang with Bobby man, it’s just the way it goes.” Well Bobby
feels bad from what I can guess cause the next day he sends a
mop to the Toddle House, UPS, and he lights a big fat one and
he stretches his legs, he says, “Oh man, I gotta learn not to put
that chili on my eggs.”
Yeah the party always starts out really cool then Bobby’s got to
find himself a fool well i guess you got the stay ‘cause Bobby
likes his girls that way, and I hope you’ll be alright and I’ll be
back tomorrow night.
I don’t want to be round, when bobby comes down I don’t
want to be round.
Track Name: Hamell's Ramble
Hamell’s Ramble
Everybody wants to talk to me they want to give me
good advice designed to set me free. In one ear and out the
other I would never say the things you do my brother. Insults all
dressed up as aide, who the hell was asking you anyway? Don’t
condescend and don’t talk down, who elected you the mayor of
opinion town? I gotta figure, not great direction, you stuffed the
ballot box at that there election you rigged the vote, that’s all
she wrote, the next day in the Times I read your quote, “I’m
gonna tell everyone what to do, hello Mr. Hamell , we will start
with you, how much money you got, you can’t have a lot, your
clothes, your car, your hair, your gear is shot.”
Gotta lotta things hanging round my head, feel a whole lot better
when it gets said, gimme just three minutes to unload, if i don’t
let it out then I might explode.
That ain’t the stuff that cuts to the quick, you keep on talking
thinking I’m thick, this one or that one, how good they’re doing,
all the deals they got brewing, you act like I’m ruined. NO!...sour
grapes rap, so called success nothing but crap, feels bad tied
with a bow and they got to make the money cause that’s all they
know, but the quality’s like a plane on the dive people call ‘em
artists, nothing but jive. People wonder why I lock the door and
then put the Stooges on turn the volume up to ten. I got a gnawing
sensation, history won’t be kind to my generation, if it gets any
worse it occurs to me no president without plastic surgery.
(Repeat Chorus)
I listen to your talkshow on the TV and the radio, the audience
is cool they let their conscience rule but the front of your shirt is
bathed with drool. You’re chasing that celebrity, you got your
camera on the trailer, you won’t let it be, affairs with the sister,
affairs with the mom, first time live when you drop the bomb.
Watch that 15 minutes of fame become a life of shame. Who am
I to say, what do I know? I’m stuck to that show Cops like it’s
made of velcro, and that Bounty Hunter show suckes me,
ain’t gonna lie could be me and my friends chased by acid wash and
Bad hair, Oak Ridge Boys with a badge, my worst nightmare
(Repeat Chorus)
Track Name: I'm Gonna Watch You Sleep
I’m Gonna Watch You Sleep Awhile
I’m gonna watch you sleep awhile. You don’t like it when I’m
gawking in the morning before you had your coffee… you say I am warning you.
I’m gonna watch you sleep a while. You don’t like it when I’m
barging in the bathroom gazing at you while you take a shower
Now’s the best time to stare at you.
Man, you look so beautiful, I could gaze for hours cause I really
get a kick here. Wonder what you dream, your eyes just gave a
little flicker. Dream, beautiful dream.
Knowing you the way I do, I figure you are dreaming bout a summer
on the ocean, there in Provincetown you read a book and spread
the lotion. Rest, rest, rest.
Maybe you are dreaming that, we have bought a house and now
we do not have to answer to some dumb landlord who treats us
like we are cancer. Yes, yes, yes.
So your childhood wasn’t great, there in your subconscious
there’s a door, you cannot latch it. Do you dream I find your dad
And chop him with a hatchet? Cool, cool, cool.
I’m gonna watch you sleep awhile. You don’t like it when I watch
you when you put your clothes on. I kiss your forehead I hope
that only good stuff goes on in your dreams.
Track Name: Uncle Morris
Uncle Morris
When it gets a little scary, with the winds all breathing hard,
with the papers and the subways, don't you want to fence your
yard? Hit the fridge and scan the cable, thanks the radio's the
same, maybe you should call up Charlie, catch a buzz and watch
the game. Where's the yearbook '86, check the lineup in gym
class, where's that little wussy Tabin? Jesus how you kicked his
ass. Caught outside the mall at sundown, never liked his clothes
or walk, 13 stitches, broken shoulder, man you should have
heard him squawk.
Arm yourself says Uncle Morris, meet me in the fields at night.
Bring along the Constitution, teach the children how to fight.
How about the pussy lately? Getting cocky for control. if you do
not have a Gold Card you can pull your own damn pole. At the
office don't be joking, now the cunt don't have to smile. You start
grabbin' and she'll sue you, set your ass in jail awhile. You can't
date without a rubber, you can't date without a line, call 900,
call 'em bitches, whores and dykes and then feel fine. Every
f***** homo downtown, every n*****, s***, and y**, every
jerk-off who ignores you, don't you want to flip your lid?
(repeat chorus)
Scan the channels, they're invading. Every TV show has more.
Arm yourself says Uncle Morris, then we'll show them what’s in
store. Can't they build a mall bi-coastal? Enter Jersey leave LA,
Micky D's in Pennsylvania, Baton Rouge and Monterey. Didn't it
once all ring familiar? Weren't the bells all bright and clear?
Why's the sound all getting muffled, like there's cotton in your
ears? Arm yourself says Uncle Morris, look out 'fore it is too late.
What the hell’s the country built on? Teach the children how to hate.
(repeat chorus)
Track Name: Disconnected
Disconnected
I need more than inspiration tonight, I got a chill in my soul and
everyone wants to fight. I'm tired and scared and nothin
seems right. I'm disconnected, I'm disconnected.
I know it's the fashion to say I don't care, to give the cynic's
knowing glance and grunt, "I been there." But no sooner does \
it pass my lips then I'm wrapped in despair. I'm disconnected,
I'm disconnected.
Early in the morning and it's just about, 3, I'm carrying a lantern
and I'm looking for me, I ain't here nor there as far as I can see.
Love thy neighbor, that's a big goal, love thy enemy, like yelling
down a hole. Could be comprehension just might save our soul.
I got a flat tire and my car is broke down, on the information
Highway, leading far out of town. I’m not downloaded, I’m just
Loaded and down. I’m disconnected. I’m disconnected.
The TV, the radio, the mail and the phone, the road, the hood,
The church, the bars and right here at home, I stopped to think,
A crowd walks by, I feel so alone.
I need more than inspiration tonight, I got a chill in my soul, and
Everyone wants to fight. I’m tired, and I’m scared, and nothing
Seems right. I’m disconnected. I’m disconnected.
Track Name: Nancy's Got A New Boyfriend
Nancy’s Got a New Boyfriend
She worked days at Wendy’s one shift Friday night,
He had a cherry Lamans it was love at first sight,
Here we go again Nancy’s got a new boyfriend.
Broke down in Houston on a Pep Boys run,
She seen an El Camino & she stuck out her thumb,
Here we go again Nancy’s got a new boyfriend.
He had a story, when they parked, bout a Nike world drop, after dark,
The cash was sweeter than a Burger King shake, she barely used
The gun he asked her to take.
She stole the car from the Motel 6,
She seen a hitchhiker, he was in a fix,
He had 2 grams of white, an oz. of green,
He was the cutest damn thing that she ever seen.
Here we go again Nancy’s got a new boyfriend.
The drugs ran out, so did his appeal,
She gave him the car, he lost on the deal.
At the used car lot, the salesman grinned,
She said “Can I drive?” he said “Get in.”
Goin 90 in the desert, with the top down had to shout,
He screamed “I’m married” she screamed “Get out!”
Here we go again Nancy’s got a new boyfriend.
Flashin lights in the mirror, unbuttoned, it was warm,
He was writing the ticket, he had a fine uniform.
He had a Crown Victoria, the detail had style,
She liked his gun, he liked her smile.
Here we go again Nancy’s got a new boyfriend.
Track Name: Choochtown
Choochtown
My name is Chooch, don’t know what you heard, only half the
Story… word. About the night in question, a lot more went down,
I don’t hang out with Bobby, he’s a fucking clown. I might sell
Him drugs, or a stereo that’s hot, but I hang out with players,
And Bobby definitely is not. I hang at bars uptown, I got a credit
Card scam, my beeper read “McClusky,” he thinks he’s the man.
He’s a hot shit lawyer, friend to the stars, and it’s mad crazy
Money, and it’s stylin bad cars. He calls me up to his office,
Cause he knows I know the street, he says close the door, oh,
Very discreet. He says he’s got a problem, maybe I can check, he
Says you wanna make a thousand? I say, what the heck. Seems
He’s got a famous client, that hot his house cleaned, in more
Ways than one, if you know what I mean. The housemaid stole
Some photos, of his client with some kids, if this stuff should
Surface, this client hits the skids. There’s a blackmail letter, I
Didn’t ask how much, he gave an address, I said I’d be in touch.
I’m good to go, I’m good to go, I’m Chooch don’t ya know.
I check out the address, she’d left on the 15th, there’s a guy Joe
Brush lives there, and he spills the beans. Seems she moved out
At night, she stiffed on the rent, she’s got a boyfriend callin the
Shots, and Joe don’t know where they went. Then Joe remembers,
The boyfriend’s a cook, at the Toddle House, I got there to take a
Look. It’s the graveyard shift, I’m there at 3 a.m., I ask him
About the photos, but things got out of hand. I stuff him in the
Cooler, cause I rearrange his face, I rummage through his pockets,
And find a lease on a new place. There’s noises in the back, I go
Out where they’re eatin, and there’s fuckin Bobby, givin the place
A verbal beatin. I’m trying to be invisible, he’s yelling Chooch
Come here, I figure I’ll sit with these guys, till I can make it
Clear. But I gotta hit the cook’s house, you know, tonight, and of
Course when we’re leavin, fuckin Bobby’s got to fight.
I’m good to go, I’m good to go, I’m Chooch don’t ya know.
I ditch these guys quick, take a cab to the address, the house
Girl gives up the photos, with very little stress. But as I round
The corner, something dawns on me, I recognize these pho-
Tos, this old actor from TV. And he’s having sex with children,
Now this would close the door on future shots of Baywatch, or
Mary fuckin Tyler Moore. So I visit this old actor, firmly explain
My situation, and he gives me 90 G’s, to show his appreciation.
I bought an El Camino, until the heat dies down, I’ll run some
Product up to Texas, I like that Houston town.
I’m good to go, I’m good to go, I’m Chooch don’t ya know.
Track Name: The Lottery
The Lottery
I gotta win the lottery, a dollar down, you wait and see. Ping
Pong balls speak to me, exacto match numerically. I’ll be flying
when I enter, the lotto redemption center. Get calls from new
Family members, it’s a shame I never met ya. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get ‘em easy, no jerk, call the Psychic Network, dial 800, she will
Say. What’s the way to San Jose? I am just a common fella, let
Me talk to the fortune teller, crystal ball, what you gotto, pick me
Six for my lotto! I’m gonna win, I’m gonna win, I’m gonna win,
The lottery.
I’m gonna get a brand new car, with stereo TV and bar, fax and
Email, cellular, room to crank up my guitar. Do not say, you ain’t
Able, to fit in my billiard table, then the sauna, then the cable,
Backeat is a polo stable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A new house, for my wife, we been dreamin all our life. Six
Blocks long. Long 40 acre spread, have to take a cab from the bath to
The bed. My wife thinks of her family, a woman of generosity.
That’s ok, I dig her mother, bride the judge, parole her brother!
I’m gonna win, I’m gonna win, I’m gonna win, the lottery.
Now I got the dough to feed ‘em, I’m gonna get to work and
Breed ‘em. Their dad is a high roller, Porsche engine in their
Stroller. I’m gonna find a charity, people who took care of me.
Cancer and Alzheimers, money well spent no social climber. I’m
Gonna win, I’m gonna win, I’m gonna win, the lottery.
Track Name: The Long Drive
The Long Drive
I’m a private detective, I left at midnight, I got a 5
Hour drive,
A place I don’t want to go. A lawyer woke me this morning, looking
For a girl, I didn’t like his attitude, I can’t pass up the dough. I
Knew her from a photo, a fiance of a dead friend, I didn’t let on,
Sometimes it’s best to pretend. Her name was Cynthia, her
Boyfriend Glover, she was brilliantly doomed, I got a kick how he
Loved her.
Got to the hotel, set the alarm. I would check the old hangouts,
So I got up at 10. No luck by afternoon, I stopped at Brunels, the
Bartender said he’d seen her, but couldn’t remember when. A ten
Refreshed his memory, Friday she was round, the night that Joe
The Box got poisoned, and ended up face down. His funeral was
This evening, though I doubt she’d be there, they were drug deal-
Ing acquaintances, and she could hardly care. The long drive.
The funeral was quiet, Box wasn’t that popular, Cynthia was a
No show, I headed to the car. I saw Yugoslavian Mike, runs an all
Night card game, for years I saw him nightly, I was there tending
Bar. How’s the game, I asked, It’s a living, Mike said, and I’m
Glad to say it, now there’s 4 drug dealers dead, every one of
Them poisoned, like Box the same, later, I gotta run, you drop by
The game.
I went and caught a movie, would have gone to Glover’s grave,
But he’d been cremated, and I wondered about the ashes.
Turned up empty on Cyn, some said she’d moved, I had a hunch,
Sometimes I get these flashes. 3 a.m. outside of Mike’s, she was
Leaving with a box. I made a U, it was raining, I tailed her 15
Blocks. She parked outside of Glover’s, they’d kept a two room
Flat, I waited half and tapped light, ‘Mind, Cyn, if we chat? The
Long drive.
Smoked cigarettes in the dark, both of us quiet, I remembered
When I met her, these last years a waste. All of Glover’s drugs,
All of her prayers, I eased the box from her, I took a little taste.
His ashes, Cyn? Did you cut ‘em with strychnine? She wasn’t
Hidin nothing when her eyes met mine. Not a dealer at his funeral,
These so called friends deserved to die, I slip him in their drinks,
She said, and then it’s pfft goodbye.
They’re on to you, Cyn, they sent me to find you, they’re small
Time dealers, but they got bosses. They probably won’t search, it
Ain’t that big a deal, but you gotta leave now, you’re causing
Them losses. I could set you up, come with me to the city. She
Said “I guess I should go, do you think I’m still pretty?” We
Left her car there, she got into my ride, we hit the bridge after
Sunrise, she threw the ashes over the side. The long drive.
Track Name: Judy
Judy
Oh are we gonna party, when Judy gets back from rehab,
She ain’t gonna know she might not even be invited.
She taught me everything I know, she taught me everything I
Know,
Who is a dirty so & so, who might be coughin up the dough.
She told me Eve got raped, it happened on the first date,
It was the 1st of the 1st dates, they danced to some band called
The Snakes.
She had a bloody party dress, cursed at the heavens what a
Mess,
God said, “Eve you’re under stress” No one in Eden would confess.
She taught me everything I know, she taught me everything I
Know,
Who is a dirty so & so, who might be coughin up the dough.
One, 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3, 1 2 3
One, 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3, 1 2 3
Welcome back Judy!
When Judy gets back from rehab, I’m gonna talk if she will
Want to,
I will be quiet when she wants to, make myself scarce if she
Wants to.
She told me secrets of the king, I told her don’t say a thing,
That her & him had a fling, his wife was in on this thing.
You can guess that the press had the palace address,
Everyone digs playing chess, they had their pictures all
Undressed.
She taught me everything I know, she taught me everything I
Know,
Who is a dirty so & so, who might be coughin up the dough.
She told me secrets of the night, the purple black & the white,
Out on the road it feels right, masters of the airwaves gettin
Tight.
He comes home at 5:15, everyday he just acts mean,
He says his life is obscene, I dig the light when it’s green.
She taught me everything I know, she taught me everything I
Know,
Who is a dirty so & so, who might be coughin up the dough.
One, 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3, 1 2 3
One, 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3, 1 2 3
Welcome back Judy!
Track Name: Joe Brush
Joe Brush
His name was Joe Brush, he could play that guitar, that’s all he
Ever did till he met Susan. This put a curve into Joe’s lack of
Plans, he knew that his heart he was losing. They got a place,
Right in the city, wouldn’t you know his band began to draw. Joe
Would take Susan swimming in the ocean, sweetest damn thing
He had ever saw.
This is too important to let slip through his fingers, like sand,
Like plans, like smoke. Before his mouth knew what hit it, his
Heart had spoke.
The discerning listener figures this is too good to be true, Joe’s
Gonna mess it up… he did. Could be the garden of Eden, could
Be original sin, could be the cocaine or bourbon, this ain’t no
Judgement call.
Susan caught Joe in a Motel 6, with a redhead, she couldn’t
Have been 19. She packed up & left, never to return, gone so
Fast she couldn’t hear him plead. He thought about what’s near
& dear, he remembered Van Gogh’s ear, he cut off his guitar
Playing finger instead. Susan got it in the mail, oh, he lost hi
Finger, oh, seems he also lost his head.
Susan’d like to give the finger to Joe, but she moved to San
Francisco with some money from an inheritance and Joe now
Plays a mean slide guitar.
(Chorus to end)
Track Name: The Mall
The Mall
This is a story of a swamp & the monster that lies in that
Swamp and a couple of buildings that lay around that
Swamp… a mall and a nuclear power plant. It’s a love story.
At the nuclear plantsite lies a swamp that glows ar nite,
& a mall is built by developers and a monster lies beneath,
Raises hell with her. She’s got a venom, makes them want to
Buy, or there’s a flame in the brain, & the skull will fry.
Whores & slaves, and drugs & crooks, in the shadow of the
Mall and everyone’s hooked.
This strip of sin surrounds the mall, I play in a band and I’ve
Seen it all. The drummer’s sister waitresses nights @ the
Toddle House, she seem alright. I hit the Toddle House every
Night to eat, we start dating, even exchange keys. Do you
Want to buy?
It was the call of the mall that kept me on the ball, she
keeps me hoppin with the shoppin, and you know I cannot
Find her at all. It was the lure to procure that challenged our
Amour, it was the buyin that was tryin, and did nothin for the
Lovin ensure.
The one night after practice with the band, I open up the
Door & I screamed ‘Oh Man”. She cleaned me out, but I
Didn’t care, I cried real hard cause I lost her.
I went by where she worked to say “no harm done,” some
Guys was beatin on a waiter, so I just moved on. Do you want
To buy?
It was the lure to procure that challenged our amour, it was
The buyin that was trying and did nothin for the lovin ensure.
It was the sheets of concrete that swept her off her feet, she
Was my honey with the money couldn’t see her for the
Shower of receipts. Do you want to buy?
Track Name: Bill Hicks
Bill Hicks
I wish Bill Hicks was alive, I wish Bill Hicks had survived.
But as Bill would be the first to answer, this is the real world
And he had cancer. I wish Bill Hicks was alive.
And I would bring my friends to see Bill do brilliant comedy.
Watch him needle an aristocrat, I wouldn’t resurrect him only
For that. I wish Bill Hicks was alive.
For all the reasons I just have to bring Bill back from the
Grave, the world is crazy and you’re on your own. I hear Bill’s
Voice, I feel I’m not alone. I wish Bill Hicks was alive. Alive.

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