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Choochtown
My name is Chooch, don’t know what you heard, only half the
Story… word. About the night in question, a lot more went down,
I don’t hang out with Bobby, he’s a fucking clown. I might sell
Him drugs, or a stereo that’s hot, but I hang out with players,
And Bobby definitely is not. I hang at bars uptown, I got a credit
Card scam, my beeper read “McClusky,” he thinks he’s the man.
He’s a hot shit lawyer, friend to the stars, and it’s mad crazy
Money, and it’s stylin bad cars. He calls me up to his office,
Cause he knows I know the street, he says close the door, oh,
Very discreet. He says he’s got a problem, maybe I can check, he
Says you wanna make a thousand? I say, what the heck. Seems
He’s got a famous client, that hot his house cleaned, in more
Ways than one, if you know what I mean. The housemaid stole
Some photos, of his client with some kids, if this stuff should
Surface, this client hits the skids. There’s a blackmail letter, I
Didn’t ask how much, he gave an address, I said I’d be in touch.
I’m good to go, I’m good to go, I’m Chooch don’t ya know.
I check out the address, she’d left on the 15th, there’s a guy Joe
Brush lives there, and he spills the beans. Seems she moved out
At night, she stiffed on the rent, she’s got a boyfriend callin the
Shots, and Joe don’t know where they went. Then Joe remembers,
The boyfriend’s a cook, at the Toddle House, I got there to take a
Look. It’s the graveyard shift, I’m there at 3 a.m., I ask him
About the photos, but things got out of hand. I stuff him in the
Cooler, cause I rearrange his face, I rummage through his pockets,
And find a lease on a new place. There’s noises in the back, I go
Out where they’re eatin, and there’s fuckin Bobby, givin the place
A verbal beatin. I’m trying to be invisible, he’s yelling Chooch
Come here, I figure I’ll sit with these guys, till I can make it
Clear. But I gotta hit the cook’s house, you know, tonight, and of
Course when we’re leavin, fuckin Bobby’s got to fight.
I’m good to go, I’m good to go, I’m Chooch don’t ya know.
I ditch these guys quick, take a cab to the address, the house
Girl gives up the photos, with very little stress. But as I round
The corner, something dawns on me, I recognize these pho-
Tos, this old actor from TV. And he’s having sex with children,
Now this would close the door on future shots of Baywatch, or
Mary fuckin Tyler Moore. So I visit this old actor, firmly explain
My situation, and he gives me 90 G’s, to show his appreciation.
I bought an El Camino, until the heat dies down, I’ll run some
Product up to Texas, I like that Houston town.
I’m good to go, I’m good to go, I’m Chooch don’t ya know.
credits
from Choochtown (20th Anniversary Edition),
released July 19, 2019
Choochtown
Hamell, acoustic guitar, & vox; Ryan Bernstein, electric guitar; Martin
Hoeger, bass; Bill Nicgorski, drums; Tommy Ciccione, clavinet.
Recorded in Nicgorski’s basement. Produced by William J Nicgorski.
